I am going to get kicked out of a group that I have been helping build for two years now. I don't want to be booted, but I also am sick and tired of getting walked on. This blog is all sorts of a gripe because, quite frankly, my feelings are really hurt tonight and I just need to let it out.
For over a month now I have been asking to add an event to our playgroup calendar. Since I chose to step down as an organizer, I cannot do it myself. It shouldn't be a big deal. It is an event several other moms were excited about. It takes three minutes to post. It really angers me that I am the one person who apparently cannot ask for things to be added to the calendar. I do not deserve this.
I adamantly do not want to go head to head with the coordinator again. She doesn't act like an adult when she argues and she wants to be the only one talking. I feel like I am being teased, like she is constantly doing things just to upset me. I know that I am not doing these things to her and I am trying with all of my might not to be the problem and I can honestly say I have been successful. Until maybe tonight.
A month ago she told me she would add my event, but it has been weeks since she said this to me and for whatever reason, she never did. Then tonight I see on the message boards that she commented asking for someone willing to host this event and she'll put it on the calendar; Mind you I have already done this several times. I posted.....
"Look, Im really not trying to argue, but we all started talking about this February 21st on the message boards (and even earlier than that at MNO). I wrote a month ago saying that I talked to the people at Luigi's and they were okay with it. I gave dates/times/directions and I said it wasn't my decision if it was a MNO or in addition to MNO. I am pretty sure I was told it was being added to the calendar, but it never has been.
I thought this would be an awesome event and I had even offered to hostess it in my home where the kiddies could play, but I thought it was agreed to at least first try it at a restaurant and see how it went and that way there were no fears of carpet stains.
I have bit my tongue thinking it was an oversight that this was never added to the calendar, but now I am offended that again I am being told to just speak up if I am willing to host. Is there something wrong with Luigis? They said that people frequently bring their own beverage there and their manager said it was completely allowed. Is there something wrong with me asking to add something to the calendar? I just don't understand what the problem is with posting an event."
I know that she is going to feel called out. I know that my posting will most likely be deleted. I know that I will probably be booted. I know that I will also get a page and a half email pointing a finger at me. I know if I respond to her, she will not respond to me. I think she has been waiting for me to do this for two months now since I told her I no longer wanted to be her assistant or her friend; That I just wanted to be treated like any other member.
This group has been important to me and even more importantly, to my son. I have made many wonderful friends through this group and I would hate to lose that from our life. Still, though, I'm tired. And I'm angry.
(Rant B) I don't think moderators of children's groups should sabotage my soon to be three year old's Birthday party. That is clearly "not about the kids." I don't think playdates should be rescheduled and everyone in the group should be notified accept me. (Rant C)I do not think the one playdate I set up for the group and the one playdate we go to every week should suddenly be changed.I do not think she got sick from McDonald's chicken nuggets, especially when no onen else did and nearly every kid there also ate the chicken. I think I should have been reimbursed for the stupid $16 donation jars. I think my son's red cape should have been given back to me and I think I should have been reimbursed for all of the things I already paid her to hem/sew/fix that she gave back undone.
(Rant B) Since the rant is already this long, might I add that in the two years as a member no one has ever had a pony party. When this coordinator and I were still friends, she told me someone had found her through our website (Or should I say her website?) and said that she owned a traveling petting zoo and that she wanted to be a sponsor for the group. She would not give us money towards the website dues, but in exchange for getting a sponsorship slot, she would give the group half off one party as a sample of her services, and she said if we wanted to use her later on for parties that she would give us a discount, but something lesser than the half off.
Anyhow, the organizer was going to give me information for Stephen's pony party that I have been planning since Josh left for Afghanistan LAST year. (It gives me something to do. Lay off. Im the kind of mom who's done Christmas shopping before Halloween. It helps me budget.) Well, sure enough I emailed her several times and she wouldn't respond. Then I went and posted in the message boards and she wouldn't respond. A friend called and asked her about the info and she said she had no idea about any such thing. She also started talking about some big group surprise for her daughter's party. I swear to God, I know this is a hunch and I could be wrong, but I don't think I am....I think her "big surprise" is that she is going to bring a pony to her kid's party which is two weeks before Stephen's party.
I want to say that there are enough ponies to go around, but honestly, I go all out on Stephen's birthdays. This year my son will turn three and he will get to celebrate with his daddy who he has not seen in a year and who could not be at his second birthday. I am paying $200 for one pony to let all the kids have a ride for one hour. I thought this was a great idea and I was willing to pay for this in addition to everything else since this will be such a milestone for our family. I feel like her suddenly throwing the same party two weeks before will make it that much less special for every kid who attends Stephen' s party and while my son won't know, I will. I will know that another mom who preaches constantly about "It's about the children" would do this to mine. Now again, this is just a hunch and I sure as hell hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Maybe she'll read this and change her mind.
(Rant C) We have been going to McDonald's after the our own storytime (which I set up for the group) for over a year, even before we had our own storytime. There was probably about a month period this time last year where we tried to do other things, but they never panned out and we decided "if it's not broke, don't fix it."
Yeah, McDonald's is not my favorite place to eat, BUT it is the best place to bring a pack of wild, hungry children. You're all in the same room with the door that is shut. The kids can eat apples and skip fries, they can climb the slides and the mommies can chat. At Chik Fil A the parents are not in the same room as the play structure and it's harder to get your kid to sit and eat. No one used to like goign to Wazoo's because you had to buy lunch and then pay $8's to get in to play there and, again, it was harder to get the kids to eat.
Ever since I said I wanted to step down and to stop being chummy, all of a sudden we can't go to McDonald's. She told me two months ago that FOR A MONTH she said each week that an old man would sit on the other side of the glass and that he used to have his hand under his newspaper. She never said this to anyone at the time. No other mom saw this man supposedly in a crowded McDonald's doing creepy things in the plain open watching our children. Honestly, I do not believe this old man exists. I think if something like that really happened, someone would have said something. I think she would have acted. I DO NOT think that any sane, rational, child loving, kiddie-group running MOTHER would go to a McDonalds, see something like this for 3-4 weeks and not even bother to say something to anyone in the group. I believe this is a tall tale.
I tried to propose solutions such as, "We need to meet moms once before accepting them as members into the group." Well, after I stepped down as AO she finally agreed to make the rule that new members had to come to one group event within three months. This rule has not been enforced. It makes me want to pull out my hair. Now, again today she told someone else about this man at McDonald's. She says McD's is not safe for the group. I think it is horse-poop-- It is just a reason to "outlaw" the one event I am still going to.
What mother in their right mind wouldn't say something about a pervert they thought was masturbating in public as they watched their child? Who would wait three months to even tell that story? A liar. That's who.