Just one of those weeks

I am in a funk. (Don't tell my husband-- If he were to ask it's all rainbows and smiles over here. Stupid rainbows and smiles....)

Anyhow, two days ago he got "non-permanent" orders. BUT, as anyone with any sort of military knowledge/history knows, "non-permanent" doesn't mean that these will not be permanent orders a month from now. Josh said he did not want to tell me, but since it would be worse not to tell me *Smile* he thought I should know.

He has already had 1/3 people he needs sign his request to be released from his current unit (and these orders) and he said the next two people who need to sign it aren't people he can pester (like I would) about it. He said hopefully he'll have all three signatures within a week. Just FYI I know that there's a large possibility that even if these three people sign and say he can go on his merry way, that he can still be sent somewhere else or that an error in paperwork can happen Blah Blah Blah and we can be moving by August.

I feel sick, ugly, and hostile. I want to scream: BUT WE HAVE A HOME! I want to continue to scream HE HAS LIVED FIVE PLACES IN TEN YEARS! I want to scream some more about the cost of the move, the financial loss we would take, I want to SHOW them that although we budget and save money like responsible adults, I don't know how or if we could swing paying a mortgage, a property management company (which would be inevitable. Also inevitable is that they wouldn't do their job like I see all over the Killeen area), and in addition to paying the mortgage paying rent. I want to scream that my son has friends here and he has his speech program.

Do they know what Josh's salary is? Not to imply that my husband is not a good provider, because he is, but his salary just does not allow for us to pay for a home and then pay to live somewhere else. I want to say that I will go insane if I have to lose my house, uproot our son (AGAIN) and move, of all places, to friggin' Kentucky. I just want three more years here in Killeen. I want a shred of stability.