Stinking Aggrevated ~ You have been forewarned

I am going to get kicked out of a group that I have been helping build for two years now. I don't want to be booted, but I also am sick and tired of getting walked on. This blog is all sorts of a gripe because, quite frankly, my feelings are really hurt tonight and I just need to let it out.

For over a month now I have been asking to add an event to our playgroup calendar. Since I chose to step down as an organizer, I cannot do it myself. It shouldn't be a big deal. It is an event several other moms were excited about. It takes three minutes to post. It really angers me that I am the one person who apparently cannot ask for things to be added to the calendar. I do not deserve this.

I adamantly do not want to go head to head with the coordinator again. She doesn't act like an adult when she argues and she wants to be the only one talking. I feel like I am being teased, like she is constantly doing things just to upset me. I know that I am not doing these things to her and I am trying with all of my might not to be the problem and I can honestly say I have been successful. Until maybe tonight.

A month ago she told me she would add my event, but it has been weeks since she said this to me and for whatever reason, she never did. Then tonight I see on the message boards that she commented asking for someone willing to host this event and she'll put it on the calendar; Mind you I have already done this several times. I posted.....

"Look, Im really not trying to argue, but we all started talking about this February 21st on the message boards (and even earlier than that at MNO). I wrote a month ago saying that I talked to the people at Luigi's and they were okay with it. I gave dates/times/directions and I said it wasn't my decision if it was a MNO or in addition to MNO. I am pretty sure I was told it was being added to the calendar, but it never has been.

I thought this would be an awesome event and I had even offered to hostess it in my home where the kiddies could play, but I thought it was agreed to at least first try it at a restaurant and see how it went and that way there were no fears of carpet stains.

I have bit my tongue thinking it was an oversight that this was never added to the calendar, but now I am offended that again I am being told to just speak up if I am willing to host. Is there something wrong with Luigis? They said that people frequently bring their own beverage there and their manager said it was completely allowed. Is there something wrong with me asking to add something to the calendar? I just don't understand what the problem is with posting an event."

I know that she is going to feel called out. I know that my posting will most likely be deleted. I know that I will probably be booted. I know that I will also get a page and a half email pointing a finger at me. I know if I respond to her, she will not respond to me. I think she has been waiting for me to do this for two months now since I told her I no longer wanted to be her assistant or her friend; That I just wanted to be treated like any other member.

This group has been important to me and even more importantly, to my son. I have made many wonderful friends through this group and I would hate to lose that from our life. Still, though, I'm tired. And I'm angry.

(Rant B) I don't think moderators of children's groups should sabotage my soon to be three year old's Birthday party. That is clearly "not about the kids." I don't think playdates should be rescheduled and everyone in the group should be notified accept me. (Rant C)I do not think the one playdate I set up for the group and the one playdate we go to every week should suddenly be changed.I do not think she got sick from McDonald's chicken nuggets, especially when no onen else did and nearly every kid there also ate the chicken. I think I should have been reimbursed for the stupid $16 donation jars. I think my son's red cape should have been given back to me and I think I should have been reimbursed for all of the things I already paid her to hem/sew/fix that she gave back undone.

(Rant B) Since the rant is already this long, might I add that in the two years as a member no one has ever had a pony party. When this coordinator and I were still friends, she told me someone had found her through our website (Or should I say her website?) and said that she owned a traveling petting zoo and that she wanted to be a sponsor for the group. She would not give us money towards the website dues, but in exchange for getting a sponsorship slot, she would give the group half off one party as a sample of her services, and she said if we wanted to use her later on for parties that she would give us a discount, but something lesser than the half off.

Anyhow, the organizer was going to give me information for Stephen's pony party that I have been planning since Josh left for Afghanistan LAST year. (It gives me something to do. Lay off. Im the kind of mom who's done Christmas shopping before Halloween. It helps me budget.) Well, sure enough I emailed her several times and she wouldn't respond. Then I went and posted in the message boards and she wouldn't respond. A friend called and asked her about the info and she said she had no idea about any such thing. She also started talking about some big group surprise for her daughter's party. I swear to God, I know this is a hunch and I could be wrong, but I don't think I am....I think her "big surprise" is that she is going to bring a pony to her kid's party which is two weeks before Stephen's party.

I want to say that there are enough ponies to go around, but honestly, I go all out on Stephen's birthdays. This year my son will turn three and he will get to celebrate with his daddy who he has not seen in a year and who could not be at his second birthday. I am paying $200 for one pony to let all the kids have a ride for one hour. I thought this was a great idea and I was willing to pay for this in addition to everything else since this will be such a milestone for our family. I feel like her suddenly throwing the same party two weeks before will make it that much less special for every kid who attends Stephen' s party and while my son won't know, I will. I will know that another mom who preaches constantly about "It's about the children" would do this to mine. Now again, this is just a hunch and I sure as hell hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Maybe she'll read this and change her mind.

(Rant C) We have been going to McDonald's after the our own storytime (which I set up for the group) for over a year, even before we had our own storytime. There was probably about a month period this time last year where we tried to do other things, but they never panned out and we decided "if it's not broke, don't fix it."

Yeah, McDonald's is not my favorite place to eat, BUT it is the best place to bring a pack of wild, hungry children. You're all in the same room with the door that is shut. The kids can eat apples and skip fries, they can climb the slides and the mommies can chat. At Chik Fil A the parents are not in the same room as the play structure and it's harder to get your kid to sit and eat. No one used to like goign to Wazoo's because you had to buy lunch and then pay $8's to get in to play there and, again, it was harder to get the kids to eat.

Ever since I said I wanted to step down and to stop being chummy, all of a sudden we can't go to McDonald's. She told me two months ago that FOR A MONTH she said each week that an old man would sit on the other side of the glass and that he used to have his hand under his newspaper. She never said this to anyone at the time. No other mom saw this man supposedly in a crowded McDonald's doing creepy things in the plain open watching our children. Honestly, I do not believe this old man exists. I think if something like that really happened, someone would have said something. I think she would have acted. I DO NOT think that any sane, rational, child loving, kiddie-group running MOTHER would go to a McDonalds, see something like this for 3-4 weeks and not even bother to say something to anyone in the group. I believe this is a tall tale.

I tried to propose solutions such as, "We need to meet moms once before accepting them as members into the group." Well, after I stepped down as AO she finally agreed to make the rule that new members had to come to one group event within three months. This rule has not been enforced. It makes me want to pull out my hair. Now, again today she told someone else about this man at McDonald's. She says McD's is not safe for the group. I think it is horse-poop-- It is just a reason to "outlaw" the one event I am still going to.

What mother in their right mind wouldn't say something about a pervert they thought was masturbating in public as they watched their child? Who would wait three months to even tell that story? A liar. That's who.

First Video Download Attempt

My ex sent me a camcorder for Christmas that I received sometime in February. All I asked for was something even an idiot could use. I think this one is it; It's taken me less than an hour of grumbeling, which is way better than that darn Sony one I had! Just thought I would give downloading to my blog a try. This will be such a funner way to show Stephen off to daddy and other family members!

A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet

Today I did it: I bought my first gun!

I say that as if I have any intention of buying more, though I do not. Still, I think I will sleep better tonight knowing that if I hear a noise I can protect myself. I feel a lot better about being a gun owner than by owning a security system that depends on others to get here to 'save me.'

The guy at "Guns Galore" (that's seriously the name of the place I bought it at!) was very nice and showed me the safety key and explained to me the difference in ammo. I bought one small box of hollowpoints and the gun I picked up is a Rossi 5 shot Revolver. I was in and out of that place in 15 minutes, no lie. Sometimes I don't mind Texas!

I also ended up getting a small gun safe that can only be opened by a code, so I feel 100% better about having a gun in the house Stevie lives in knowing he absolutely could not get to it any time.

I think Josh is going to feel a lot better now that I made these purchases. I wish I bought these months ago! I am going to bed here once Josh calls and I know I'm going to sleep like a rock (finally!)

It's Raining, It's Pouring

Much like my moods, outside it has been mucky out this week. Stephen has been inside more than usual. Sometimes twice a day he wants to splash in the tub (or better yet, the jacuzzi). Other than that, we really have just been cleaning and keeping to ourselves. I have done small home projects like hanging my curtains in the office, packing an Easter box to daddy, testing out the attachments to our new vacuum, etc.

Today Stephen and I met with Brian, Cynthia, Logan and Catarina for our weekly meet-up at McDonald's. Stephen and Logan crack me up; They are such completely different little boys. Stephen is loud; Logan is quiet. Whereas Logan loves educational shows, Stephen prefers shows like "Scooby Doo" or "Tom and Jerry" or that darn "Spongebob." Somehow, all of their differences aside, they play well together. I even think Stephen brings Logan a little 'adventure' and Logan sure does set a great example of manners and speech for Stephen!

Then there's little Catarina and boy does she have my heart! She is three months and all smiles. That little girl is already a knockout and so well tempered!

I need to go get my little prune out of the tub and maybe run to Lowe's and Walmart if I can get him out the door.

Stephen Sold SeaShells By the Sea Shore

Stephen, Brandy and I ventured to Belton Lake today. Maybe I shouldn't be announcing this and lose our prim-O play spot, but now is the time to go to BLORA because swimming still isn't open, so it's still pretty remote.

We did it all; We drove around, we played near the water and threw rocks and shells in to puddles, we went on like six different play structures, we blew bubbles and threw rocks with other kids...Good times.

P.S. I would have loved that first pic if he would have looked at me, darn kid. :)

Political Bumperstickers

Backing It Up

I just realized that I never did post zoo pictures. Now's as good a time as any I suppose.

Is My Bad Luck Contagious?

So on top of the orders to Kentucky, Josh saw an unofficial list of who made the E7 promotion and his name is not on the list. He let me know Obert is, though. *Sting* Anyhow, his request to leave the unit is on the last person's desk. The paper had been sent back to them with a request for a blurb to be added, so he added it and sent it back, but no more word on it.

He doesn't even want to talk to me because he's so upset. He was really looking forward to that promotion. Now he's going to sign up for more schools and once he gets home I still won't see him because it will be one school after another (again).

I feel terrible and I just want to hug and kiss my hubby.

More of My Sassy Lass

My Sassy Lass

Tonight we met Brandy (or "Bran-y" as Stephen pronounces it) for dinner, and then we continued on our journey to Carl Levin Park to tire ourselves out so we can rest up for our big day at the zoo tomorrow with all of our friends. Please remind me in the future that I do not care for this particular park in the evenings.....

Anyhow, I may not have enjoyed myself, but little man obviously did. He really hammed it up for my camera tonight :) I just love it when he humors me!

Just one of those weeks

I am in a funk. (Don't tell my husband-- If he were to ask it's all rainbows and smiles over here. Stupid rainbows and smiles....)

Anyhow, two days ago he got "non-permanent" orders. BUT, as anyone with any sort of military knowledge/history knows, "non-permanent" doesn't mean that these will not be permanent orders a month from now. Josh said he did not want to tell me, but since it would be worse not to tell me *Smile* he thought I should know.

He has already had 1/3 people he needs sign his request to be released from his current unit (and these orders) and he said the next two people who need to sign it aren't people he can pester (like I would) about it. He said hopefully he'll have all three signatures within a week. Just FYI I know that there's a large possibility that even if these three people sign and say he can go on his merry way, that he can still be sent somewhere else or that an error in paperwork can happen Blah Blah Blah and we can be moving by August.

I feel sick, ugly, and hostile. I want to scream: BUT WE HAVE A HOME! I want to continue to scream HE HAS LIVED FIVE PLACES IN TEN YEARS! I want to scream some more about the cost of the move, the financial loss we would take, I want to SHOW them that although we budget and save money like responsible adults, I don't know how or if we could swing paying a mortgage, a property management company (which would be inevitable. Also inevitable is that they wouldn't do their job like I see all over the Killeen area), and in addition to paying the mortgage paying rent. I want to scream that my son has friends here and he has his speech program.

Do they know what Josh's salary is? Not to imply that my husband is not a good provider, because he is, but his salary just does not allow for us to pay for a home and then pay to live somewhere else. I want to say that I will go insane if I have to lose my house, uproot our son (AGAIN) and move, of all places, to friggin' Kentucky. I just want three more years here in Killeen. I want a shred of stability.

On a Brighter Note

How insanely cute is this kid with his toys? I am shocked at how creative he already is and how focused he can be when he wants to do something. Everything is a "choo-choo". This is the cute sort of thing daddy-Josh will be coming home to.

Eight months down; Four months to go!

My Hero

The last few months I have been trying to find things to do that don't cost money. One day I decided that one of my husband's careless questions bothered me; "Why don't you ever read any of these books?" I decided that, just to show Josh (HA!) I would read a few of those books I am always buying.

Anyhow, recently the Adam Walsh case hit the news and it said that they finally closed the case. None of the articles I read said what this "new" clue was, and an article I read spoke of John Walsh's (America's Most Wanted Host and father of the murdered Adam Walsh, 6) anger towards the people handling his son's case, about the media, the courts, etc. I decided to do some google-ing and I found that Mr. Walsh has written three books and produced several movies and even Oscar-winning videos to teach kids how to handle an emergency and strangers.

I was vaguely aware of what happened to Mr. Walsh's son, but I never really heard who/what/where/how. I also did not have the slightest idea of all the things the Walsh family has done since the horrible murder in 1982. I just want to say, that if I could shake any one single person's hand it would be John Walsh's. He is strong and amazing and has done so many great things. I have just finished reading two of his three books and I have even found myself on the www.amw.com website.

I have personally been through the Alaska court system for over two years and I can tell you that my case has been very costly and been riddled with mistakes. I can also tell you that no one representing the state or furthermore the US gives. It has made me, my husband, my father, so upset sometimes that we cannot speak. Somedays I just feel so angry, so frusterated, but at least what I have been through was not worse. I read these books and I want to help fix, help solve, and when I read Mr. Walsh's stories I get angry for these victims and their families and I feel like I understand at least a fragment of what they go through. His books are amazing; I totally recommend them if you can stomache reading about true crime stories.

I also felt the need to blog something that Mr. Walsh has pressed on AMW and in all of his books: Not to question your instincts. He says in his book, "I have said it before and I will say it again: If I could will one change into the world, if I could shake every cop and sheriff and state trooper and park ranger in this country by the shoulders and scream into their faces and get them to understand one thing, it is this: When you get a report of a missing person, do not wait! I know that resources are strained, I know that most of the time the so-called missing person shows up a few hours later, with a mouthful of appologies and sad stories fo broken-down cars and lost maps and closed roads and snowstorms and bad directions. But all you have lost, if you trouble yourself to investigate these nondisappearances, is some time. What you risk losing, if you do not investigate right away, is to much greater. Immeasurably greater."

New Obsession...

First, I need to say BEFORE you tease me: My husband is not home. I do not have sex. At times I need to be encouraged to clean my house. I also want to add that I spend my days with a two- year-old. He's cute, but he's messy, he has his mommy's temper, and he wants to drag toys to every corner of this house and his reasoning: Just to see if I'll pick them up. Okay, that last part I'm not positive about, but it could be true.

Anyhow *Drum roll, please* My new obsession is www.hgtv.com and their "Rate my room". I am not completely sure why I like this site so much considering most of the comments are not nice and the mean ones never have their own home posted for "critique-ing", but, nevertheless, I now have something to do. I just cannot read another book. My handle there is "schiperno" (Clever, right?)

Now if only I could convince hgtv into redoing my living room....Hey, a gal can dream, right?

Rock of HUH?

I am ashamed to say that I have been up for an hour now watching "Bret Michaels- Rock of Love". What the hell was I thinking? What would my husband say if I told him this is how I chose to spend my time? For Pete's Sake! These gals are a train wreck. Please tell me I never looked like them after one too many beers in my pre-mommy life.

Anyhow, Mister I'm-Too-Old-For-My-Nap passed out on me and this is what I am using as my excuse for not changing the channel earlier. No I did not have the remote....Of course not....

Moving at a Snail's Pace

Daddy LOVED this photo of Stevie because his top says "Tough Guy", but the face he is making so clearly DOES NOT say "Tough Guy". My kid is too funny, even when he's not trying!

We have finished a bunch of small to-do things this week such as water the grass, retrieve drycleaning, etc., ect. Yesterday Stephen also did a craft with Cassandra that involved mixing food coloring, glue, and shaving cream. He stayed very serious the whole time (A true artist) but he loved it. Now my office has the fresh smell of shaving cream thanks to his bulletin- board art work.